Finding my Focus

It seems that more has been happening for me in the past 3 years of my A&S journey than had happened in the previous 20 years combined. I have always been passionate, committed and hard working when it came to the arts and sciences. I also always put  research at the center point of all my projects, so looking back I have to wonder what has changed for me? I don't have to look far to find the answer.
One conversation I had changed everything for me. That conversation was the one that helped me find my focus, and once I found out what I should focus on, everything else about my A&S work immediately fell into place and the path I needed to take became very clear to me. The funny thing was, I never knew that not having a focus was the problem that was holding me back.
Many years ago I asked my good friend-and Medieval Aunt-Aurelia to help me find someone to apprentice to in the SCA. I wanted to take my sewing and embroidery to the next level and I felt stuck. I didn't know how to get deeper into research and being self taught I felt I wasn't getting any better on my own anymore. This was before Facebook and I was really discouraged by the Yahoo groups, I hated asking questions on them since there were always some unhelpful people who dominated the group. I was at the time more active in Acre than I was in the SCA and I didn't know many East Kingdom Laurels. Aurelia and I though we should focus on my work on Middle Eastern garb and we were not able to come up with anyone. We decided to let the matter rest and the both of us would keep our eyes and ears open and we knew the right person would eventually be made known to us. At the time my son was just a toddler and then we moved to a new state and I wound up taking a few steps back from medievalism.
About 5 or 6 years ago I really was able to become more active in A&S again and I went to a University event that my Auntie Aurelia was also at. She introduced me to Lady Caterina and told her I was looking for guidance on my A&S work. That day I had attended my very first Athena's thimble meeting and I confessed to her that I had been too nervous to panel the embroidered favor I had made. She made me feel comfortable enough to show it to her and she gave me some very nice feedback and encouraged me to panel it in the future.
After that first meeting our paths crossed often, and the more I talked with Caterina the more I found that we had a very similar approach to A&S and even though she was more skilled and experienced than me, I found it so easy to talk to her about it. I found myself often seeking her advice, and it was her advice that she gave me about 3 years ago that changed everything for me.
We were at a New Years Eve party and we were talking about the first A&S project and my problem with deciding on what to do next. I was unsure if I should work on a garb project or an embroidery project. She suggested I should focus on my fiber arts, She said that was my strongest art and my biggest passion. That statement made so much sense, yet was not something I could have seen myself. I was still thinking about this conversation for days afterwards and suddenly I had a very clear plan in place. I had several A&S project ideas as well as classes that I could teach based on each project. I had always struggled with the fact that I liked to do so many different crafts, but when I looked at it from the perspective as a fiber artist, they didn't seem that different at all. Suddenly spinning, sewing, embroidery and knitting were all just branches of the main focus of fiber.
It was not long before I had decided that my next project would be the period fiber study project, which was really more of a research paper that had some handspun and woven visual aids. I also realized I was so much more confident about my fiber work and it was so much easier to talk about it to other people. Once I realized that fiber study was at the core of what I did it all became so clear.
I knew that I had found the teacher for me, but was I the student for her? She had only recently become a Laurel and I didn't want to push the idea of her taking me on as a student. It took another year of getting to know each other for both of us to realized it was the right thing for both of us to do. I could not be happier with the decision and I feel studying under Padrona Caterina is exactly what I needed to move forward. Together I think we will do some great things.